i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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