We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
