Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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