i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
