So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
