we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
