True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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