you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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