May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
