Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
