yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
