oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
