I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
