I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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