The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
