When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
