My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He is an equal opportunity slut.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
