In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
