...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
