WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
