remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
