Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
