You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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