One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
