AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
