Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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