Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
