we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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