Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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