I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I FOUND THE LEGS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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