Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
