Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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