it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
