Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So squirting runs in the family.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
