I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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