I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
