you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't turn off my feet"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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