marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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