Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
