So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Terrible idea I love it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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