Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
