Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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