smell my finger.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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