I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
