your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
