Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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