Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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