look no pants
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
