If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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