I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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