i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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