Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
